Happy 2019, designers! Here is some tech-inspired advice for you based on your astrological design sign.
Aries: Spinning Wheel of Death
There’s literally not enough RAM to keep you running at 100, Aries. You’re the rainbow spinning wheel of death. When you start to hear the motor purring, take a break. At the very least, try closing two of the thirty tabs open in your browser.
Taurus: One-Click Buy
You want to eat your cake and have it same day, too. Taurus, you’re the one-click buy button. You’re like the best thing to happen to the internet since the like button, but you require some set up before operating at your peak. Do the work upfront to make life easier in the long run.
Gemini: Face Filters
If things are looking particularly bleak, put on that Snapchat filter with the rose-colored sunglasses, Gemini. Why rely on your two faces when you can have a third? Sometimes it only takes a shift in perspective to see all your beauty (inside and out).
Cancer, are you lost? Probably not. You’ve got your house plugged into maps and know the quickest route home through all the rush hour traffic. You’re geolocation! But if you have some extra time on your hands, don’t be afraid to go off the beaten path.
Leo: Camera App
Camera, camera on my phone, who is the chillest of them all? Probably you, Leo. Let’s be real, you’re the camera app (in selfie mode). #NoFilter. Don’t forget to flip the camera around every now and then while you’re filling up your photo album.
Virgo: Push Notifications
Ding! There you are (again), Virgo. Adding more to the list. You’re push notifications! Consider setting restrictions on your screen time or at least silence your phone for an hour or two a day.
This year is all about connectivity for you, Libra. Why restrain yourself with wires when you can Bluetooth connect all your devices? If the connection drops, toggle airplane mode on and off a few times. It’s also totally okay to disconnect entirely once you reach a cruising altitude.
Scorpio: Voice Assistants
Scorpio, you’re like cool but also kinda creepy. I’m pretty sure Siri and Alexa are both Scorpios. Scorp, you’re a voice-controlled assistant: pervasive and helpful, but sometimes amorphous. Try making your presence known when people step into the room.
Sagittarius: Swipe-able Cards
“Thank u, next” might be trending but you were moving on to greener pastures before anyone else, Sadge. You’re the handy-dandy swipe-able card feature (made popular by online dating apps). Remember to savor your choices today as you may run out of options to dismiss tomorrow.
Tried, tested, true. Capricorn, you’re the greatest equalizer known to mankind: email. You’re reliable and a true staple. The idea of “Inbox Zero” was definitely invented by a Cap, but what would happen if you let your inbox fill up and go unanswered for a little while?
Aquarius: Heart Icon
You’re everywhere, Aquarius. And you have two emotional states: completely, utterly full or hollow AF. You’re the ubiquitous heart icon. Everyone wants more of you! But if people are pushing your buttons too much, don’t be afraid to break up with them.
Pisces: Augmented Reality
When google glass came out people were like “wtf?!” They just weren’t ready. As augmented reality, it’s important for you to stay grounded, Pisces. You can make people’s dreams come true, but it will require getting your head outta the clouds for brief periods of time.
I hope you enjoyed these design-scopes! Let me know if you’d like to see more occult-based design writing. If you hated this, sorry.